About - My Background
Hailing originally from North East Scotland, I’ve spent most of my life here in the North East of England (though Scotland remains my spiritual home!). Having spent a decade in boarding schools in Durham, I stayed on there for the university, where I discovered my passion for words and writing – editing the university’s poetry & arts magazine.
Career
The first eighteen years of working life were spent in Civil Service middle-management (a “square peg in a round hole” was how my senior manager described me) and Higher Education administration – before, finally, utilising my training and guidance skills as an HE lecturer on my old MA course.
But then, my career took a different path when I embarked on a counselling career that has lasted for over thirty-one years. I started with the North East Council for Addictions, before moving on to deliver staff counselling for a number of local NHS Trusts and councils – alongside private clients. For most of this time, I have specialised in working with bereavement and grief.
Training & Supervision
For many years now, I have held a training Quality Licence from two national awarding bodies – firstly, from NCFE and, currently, from the Skills and Education Group – meaning all of my designed training courses can be accredited through this Quality Licence. Consequently, this means that the Certificate of Achievement & Learning Unit Statement awarded to successful participants are given an extra veneer of professionalism and integrity.
With regard to Supervision, I have, for many years, offered both Counselling & Clinical Supervision; and I am also an Approved NCPS Supervisor. Twenty years ago, I wrote a 7-Day Level 5 Certificate in Counselling Supervision, and this popular course has now trained more than 300 North-East counsellors in supervision skills and strategies.
Grief
Grief is not an illness or disease, and there is nothing pathological about grieving. It is the one thing that we will all have to face, yet there is still insufficient support and understanding of it. For nearly thirty years, I have been specialising in this field – counselling, and delivering training from a meaningful programme of accredited Grief Counselling & Grief Awareness courses through The Campbell Grief Institute. Grief is a highly complex subject, as well as being a taboo issue in our society. There are, in my view, more than 18 major areas and types of death within Grief and I believe that, to really specialise in this field, requires understanding of each of these unique issues, and regular reflection of the way we companion and hold space with our bereaved clients.
As my counselling and supervision work starts to wind down, then my role has become one of a Grief Guide & Educator through a variety of mediums – meaning that I am striving to create a Grief Legacy (based on a substantial body of knowledge and experience) for any practitioner or interested individual who wants to access it.
Dying and End of Life
For the last couple of years, I have been exploring the concepts of End of Life, Dying and a “Good Death.” I have worked with a number of terminally-ill clients over the years, and bereaved clients who lost loved ones after a serious illness – and this has informed me about the impact of Anticipatory Grief. We should be talking more openly and authentically about Death, Dying & Grief, as they are still sadly taboo subjects for our society. Moreover, I believe that the sacred and community elements of dying have been generally lost to the medicalisation and sterility of the hospital setting. It’s an area I am greatly drawn to, and one I hope to work in more extensively over the next few years.
In addition, I am delighted to be helping, in a modest advisory and practical capacity, Gloria Ferguson’s “The End Matters CiC.” This is a small, but passionate organisation who are doing great things with their Dead Good Conversations, End of Life Planning Service, Holistic End of Life Practices training, Creating Legacies, Grief Awareness workshops and End of Life Doula work.
Other “Strings to the Bow”
As you can see from other pages on this website, I still undertake a small amount of workplace support services. Workplace Mediation Services; Compassionate Leadership and Core Leadership Skills training for Middle Managers; Independent Workplace Investigations; Leadership Mentoring for Middle Managers; and Relationship Mediation for couples who want to salvage their relationship.
I am also delighted and honoured to have undertaken the relevant training as an Independent Funeral Celebrant, and I will be offering this service from October 2024 – with the simple aim of assisting bereaved families in creating a meaningful, sacred, and respectful tribute to their deceased loved one.
My Ethos
My work has, and always will be, one of Service, Presence, Holding Space, and Sharing the Darkness.
Service – to and for all of my clients, training participants, supervisees, mentees, friends and colleagues.
Presence – the art of being fully present with others and presence is enriched by knowledge.
Holding Space – creating a ring of care around others and witnessing their journey.
Sharing the Darkness – companioning and sharing others’ pain, distress, and sadness.
Accompanied by Patience and Humility and all underpinned by Compassionate Competence.
Interests & External Activities
In my life beyond my work:
- Crystals and Crystal Healing, and doing my best to learn more about their value and benefits;
- Podcasting – delivering regular podcasts on grief, legacies and afternoon tea (what a combination!);
- lifelong passion for poetry and writing since my days at university, and I’m hoping to finally complete a small collection of poems and a book on “True Compassion” shortly;
- gardens and plants, especially herbs ( I think we have forgotten about their beneficial properties);
- forest walks (my psychic says I have a deep connection to trees) and beach strolls!
Inspirational Influences
Sheila Cassidy – “Sharing The Darkness”
Amy Wright Glenn- “Holding Space”
Marc Gafni – “Soul Prints”
Henry Fersko-Weiss – “Caring For The Dying”
Felicity Warner – “The Soul Midwives Handbook”
Roger A Lewing – “Compassion”
Henri Nouwen – “Compassion”
Kahlil Gibran – “The Prophet”
Irving & Marilyn Yalom, – “A Matter of Death And Life”
William Sieghart – “The Poetry Pharmacy”