Specialist Grief Counselling

I believe that Grief Counselling is, arguably, the hardest of all counselling practices – in that the outcome rarely encompasses change and optimism. Most bereaved clients will emerge from their counselling sessions with a better understanding of their grief, their feelings & emotions, and society’s approach to them. However, the pain, sadness and distress will invariably remain.

Grief is a lifelong journey. It’s not something you can ever “get over”, nor is it something you can genuinely “recover” from – for the death of a loved one changes us irrevocably. It is a unique and most singular experience, and needs to be undertaken in a way and at a pace that is best for each individual; and, though it is lifelong, it should not prevent the bereaved from still being able to lead a meaningful life.

I have long believed that we must respect and honour the innate wisdom of each bereaved person to grieve in a way that is right for them. It is the right way, as it’s their way.

My role as a grief counsellor has been and always will be one of “service”. The American writer and teacher, Frank Ostaseski, describes ‘helping’ and ‘fixing’ as the work of the ego, while ‘service’ is the work of the soul.

This role strives to enable the bereaved to make sense of their unique grief; to be able to understand and express all of the feelings & emotions within their grief’s symptomatology; to have those feelings and emotions validated; and to understand the reactions and responses of others around them.

To be able to carry out this role requires me to “hold space” (a safe, caring, patient and accepting space) for each bereaved client, as they engage in this exploration; and, at the same time, to share their pain, distress, anguish and darkness – without trying to shine a light in it.

Some bereaved clients may have lost loved ones through a terminal illness. In which case, they will have some form of Anticipatory Grief, which, though similar to Post-Death Grief in several ways, has significant differences. An additional role, therefore, for me will be to help the client understand the impact of their own unique anticipatory grief experience throughout the illness of their loved one.

For the grief counsellor, the quality of their ‘presence’ with each client is of paramount importance. Consequently,

the more you learn, the more you learn;
the more you know, the more you can empathise;
the more you can empathise, the richer your presence with another.

After a 31-year career specialising in all aspects of death, dying and grief, I have been able to accumulate a substantial wealth of experience, knowledge and understanding. What I hope, then,  to bring to each bereaved client and each counselling session is a rich, informed and meaningful presence.

Passion, Warmth, Care, Patience, Ethical Safety, and Humility are my watchwords!

and

underpinning my whole grief counselling approach is the foundation of compassionate competence.

Whenever asked as to what I see as ‘success’ or ‘successful outcomes’ in grief counselling, I refer the questioner to the words of the American poet, Ralph Waldo Emmerson –

“ …… to know one other life has breathed easier 
because you lived, that is to have succeeded.”

If anyone would like to access this specialist counselling service, then please get in touch with me through the Contact Page on this website.

Alternatively, you can ring me on 07903 239 983 or email me at hello@neilhcampbell.co.uk

Sessions normally take place at Aidan House in Gateshead on a face-to-face basis. However, they can also be delivered through the medium of Zoom.